The more I learn about having an incompetent cervix the more I realize how unique a situation it is depending on the person. For months, I have read up on information, participated in online forums, and questioned my doctor about what I can expect and how things will progress. While I have learned a ton, and feel more knowledgeable on the subject, I am quickly learning that I cannot predict what will happen with an incompetent cervix, I cannot compare it to a regular pregnancy and most importantly I have to rest knowing that the Lord has a perfect plan even though sometimes I have no clue what it is :)
All of that to say, after last week's encouraging appointment this week's was a little difficult for me to swallow. The best and most important news is that Beau is doing great! Obviously, as long as he is good, this mama will go through anything to get him here safely! The more disappointing news is that my cervix is continuing to thin pretty drastically. I don't have specific numbers this week, because my doctor didn't want to agitate it any further. As he put it, I could have this baby tomorrow or in six weeks. There truly is no way to tell with an incompetent cervix how things will change from day to day or how long it will hold out. That perhaps is one of the most difficult parts for me.
The other sad news is that my doctor told me I would need to postpone my shower this weekend until after the baby is born. In the grand scheme of things, I know it is not a big deal, but it was pretty emotional for my hormone crazy body. I guess it was the last bit of a "normal pregnancy experience" that I had so it was a little hard to let go of. After talking to Chris and praying about it, I feel much better about everything! Chris reminded me that I am weak and on my own this is really difficult, but through Christ I find my strength...that is where my focus must be!
The biggest praise is we have made it through the most critical period for Beau. He is growing and doing well, but we would like for him to stay in as long as possible so that his lungs will develop fully. I am praying for no NICU stay, and know that with the Lord we can get there. Each and every day is a step in the right direction. For now, I have now idea when my body will decide to fully progress into labor, but we will see each day as a blessing until then! Who knows, maybe the Lord will surprise us and take us to 40 weeks...wouldn't that be amazing! So, in the meantime, I will keep laying here and appreciate each day Beau is able to stay in!